Thursday, July 9, 2009

Tag I'm it!


So my friend Heather tagged me in a photo game where I have to post the 10th picture in my first photo file on my computer and tell the story of it.

This is Lucas moments after he was born getting weighed. I was actually not awake because they had to put me under general anesthia since my epidural didn't fully take and I didn't exactly feel like having a c-section while feeling everything. This was such a hard time for us because we were so overjoyed with his birth, but Rich's father was in the hospital and wasn't doing so well. Rich's father passed 5 days after Lucas was born. They never got to meet. Lucas was the sweetest little baby. He still is, but not so much a baby anymore. I got to spend a lot of time alone with him after he was born because of all the was going on. And now he's my boy. He cries for mommy, he wants me to lay him down and kiss his owies. He's such a sweet boy. I love him so much.

Okay now I am to tag 5 others to do this so lets see:


Lets see who shares!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Overwhelmed

I thought I had it all under control. I thought that I was doing a pretty good job juggling it all. I thought "Hey I'm doing this, I got this."

So why do I seem to have a panic attack everyday? When I take those breaks to try and line up whats next, what I need to do for the day, or how to prepare for next week I seem to break down. I can't breath. The room starts spinning. Sometimes I feel my heart beating so fast, I think it may pound outta my chest.

Rich's surgery is coming up very soon. And of course we have the hospital calling us already wanting to talk about how we are going to pay for it all. Really? Thanks a lot health insurance, really helping us out with this one. Its just all so much. Rich thinks he's gonna be up and going like days after but I know he's not going to be feeling good. How am I to study for my final that I have that week after his surgery?

People offer to help, but they don't really ever seem to have the time. And its not really their faults you know? I can't expect people to put their lives on hold to help me take care of mine. And nannies and babysitters really want to get paid for watching your kids.

Its just all seeming to be too much right now. I'm in a dark hole today. Things really aren't that bad, they just don't seem to be looking good today. I know deep down that these feelings are because I haven't been sleeping good and I am feeling physically awful all over.

Sorry nothing bright and cheery today. Like REM said: Everybody hurts, sometimes everybody cries. Today is my sometime.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Look into my pink, goober filled eye

I got to leave class early last night. And not so I could get a jump start on my holiday weekend, but because I had goobies seeping out of my pink and blood shot eye!!! I headed straight to Urgent Care and after a surprisingly short visit, I left with eye drops to cure my pink eye. Its awful and I am disinfecting EVERYTHING in hopes that the boys don't get it. I woke up with Luke at 2 something this morning and I couldn't open my eye at all because it was sealed with eye crusties. How the hell did I get pink eye one would ask? I have no freaking idea!! I have never had it either, it just really sucks.

My initial fear was that I wouldn't be able to participate in any 4th of July activities, but the doc assured me that with doing my drops as prescribed I will not be contagious by Saturday. So see, a silver lining.

So on with my normal activities today. Library, Target, grocery store. No rest for the weary, or as I say a MOTHER!

On a side note, my dear sweet hubby turned 30 yesterday! I love my baby very much. I can't believe we are getting older. I still see us as this young couple. Its crazy! But to set it all in, as Rich and I were talking to Eddie before bedtime I asked Eddie how old his daddy was today. And he says...

"OLD".

Rich skipped his nightly application of Ben-gay on the knee in hopes of trying to lift his spirits.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Birthdays and Surgeries, and Finals...OH MY!

So its almost July. For anyone who knows us, July is our busiest month. First we have Rich's birthday on the 2nd. Then we have the 4th festivities, then its Eddie's birthday, then our anniversary, and this and that...

Rich's b-day is the big one this year. 30. He is just overjoyed with turning 30 (note: sarcasm). He keeps talking about how old he is going to be. Yadda yadda yadda. As of right now, no big celebration. But hopefully soon. Rich will also be having knee surgery on the 17th. Happy Birthday, here's some good stuff for you to legally get doped up on!

Eddie will be turning 3!!! I can't believe it. He is getting so tall, he is up to my navel already. Of course me at a whopping 5 feet 2 inches, that's not saying much. He has asked for Spongebob decorations. Hey as long as there is a pinata for me to take a whack at, fine by me.

Hopefully we can squeeze in a nice dinner for our anniversary somewhere. Seven years and I am not itching yet. You know the movie, The Seven Year Itch? Yeah rereading that sounded um gross so I had to throw that in there.

And I have my final for Anatomy on the 27th. Then I will be half way done with school. I can't believe how fast it has gone. Studying hard, I have a 4.0 as of right now and I would like to keep it that way!

So much to do, so little time. Ay me, it will be Christmas before you know it...

Monday, June 22, 2009

25 Things

So finding inspiration from my blogger friend Heather, I thought I would write 25 things you probably don't know about me.

1.) I think I was suppose to be a boy. And I don't mean that in a weird I'm going to start ace bandaging my boobies down and look into getting "the change" kinda way. I have a girly side to me, really I do. But I'm really not down for cuddling, kissing, or talking for hours about the way I feel about someone. I share my feelings and thats that.

2.) When I was about 11 or 12, I cut my lip with a pair of barber scissors because I was trying to cut nose hairs and I slipped and fell. I still have a tear drop scar on my lips but you can really only see it if your up close.

3.) I love photography. I wish I could be like those cool people that own the fancy cameras and actually know how to use them. But I hardly can remember to use my pocket digital camera. I wish I could capture every little moment in life, cause it truly does all go by so fast!

4.) I am a complete medical dweeb. I will read anything and everything medical and if I don't understand it, I will research the crap outta of until I do. The body intrests me so much.

5.) I see dead people. Really I do. I have been visited by several loved ones over the years, most recently by my father in law who passed away from colon cancer a little over a year ago. He really likes to visit with my youngest Luke because he loved his grandchildren and never got to met him.

6.) I am such an open-minded, see both sides kinda girl and I almost think its a curse. There are SO many issues that I am always on the fence about cause I can understand both sides of the case. I am not wish-washy, I am just a very emotional person.

7.) I cry all the time. As reffered in #6, I am an emotional person. It doesn't take much to get tears outta me. So I hate to sound mean, but if you ever make me cry try not to feel flattered. Tears of joy, pain, heartache...I got it all covered.

8.) I have a very blunt view on death. Which is weird cause I am such an emotional person. Maybe cause I feel that even though that person is pyhsically gone, they are always with you. In saying this though, I am terrified of losing one of my kids. They are my world and I would be so lost without them. It would be like losing a limb to me.

9.) I hate talking on the phone. I have this weird thought that people hate the sound of my voice that it actually terriefies me to speak on the phone. Thank goodness for texting.

10.) I love to volunteer. I feel so extremley blessed with the things that I have in my life, that I want to do all I can to help others. I feel outta place since moving back to Ohio because I haven't had an orginization to work with. I am looking into volunteering with the Ronald McDonald house though here in Cincinnati so be on the look out soon for that.

11.) I feel very out of place here in Ohio. I love that I am back here and am able to be with family at the drop of a hat. But I really loved Austin and I miss it extremley. I got to go back last September and I had such a great time. But as I was sitting on the plane back here, I got a glimpse of downtown and I started bawling. I was already starting to miss it that much.

12.) I have recently discovered my love for gardening. I put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into my little garden so I am extremley proud of it. Picture a proud mom watching her son give his Valavictorian speech. Thats me looking at my flowers.

13.) I'm not really a person who cares what people think, but I just want everyone to like me. Sounds corny right? I just hope that all the people that I have met in my life have something positive to say about me.

14.) I love to be the center of attention, but not in a spotlight stealing kinda way. What can I say, I'm a leo.

15.) I am obsessed with HGTV and Better Homes and Gardens. My favorite thing to do on a saturday morning is watching whatever is on HGTV and drinking coffee. Now you wouldn't know that by the way my house looks...

16.) I think its more important to teach by doing then saying. Now in a literal sense I am a hands on person. But I think its far more important to just do the things that are right and hope that others will follow suit. At the end of the day, YOU are responsible for your actions, no one else. Thats why I also think its important to admit when you are wrong, and apologize when you have hurt someone.

17.) I think I am completley full of shit sometimes.

18.) I love my life as simple as it is. I often wish that I was this trendsetting, world traveler whom meets her girlfriends for drinks on weeknights and attends these lavish parties. But I know that I don't have the energy for that and having coffee with my hubby after the kids are asleep is enough for me.

19.) I am cheap. If theres a less expensive way around things I am all over it. I love expensive things, don't get me wrong. But I can't get myself to shell out the big bucks. TJ Maxx and $8 bottle of wines is where my money goes.

20.) I think I am courageous. Do you know how intimidating it can be going back to school at 27 years of age? I'm just saying.

21.) I had an awesome childhood, but I want something completley different for my kids. I don't think one or the other is any better, just something different.

22.) My main goal in life was to get married and have kids. Thats why I did that first and now am working on the career.

23.) My boys can drive me crazy on a daily basis, but I am so insanley happy that I had them. I can't even begin to explain how I feel for them.

24.) I don't really like chocolate. I will eat it, but only if it has like caramel or nuts or something else in it. I can't eat just plain chocolate.

25.) I am a creature of habit. I really don't intend on doing it, I just have to do certain things the same way all the time or I forget it. It like a little touch of OCD, I swear.

Yeah not that intresting, but its me.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I have followers!

Okay, so many of you that are hip to this blog world of ours, followers is nothing new or exciting to you. I have been doing this blog thing, on occasion, for about a year now I think. But looking all over this site today, I have just noticed that I have TWO followers!! I guess this means that out of this whole world, there are at least two people out there that like what I have to say SO much, that they follow me. I know I am a total dweeb, but that is so cool to me!

So as a vow to my followers, I promise to try and jazz up my posts a little more. This means trying to jazz up my life as I am sure that you two out there would hate to log on everyday to hear me blogging about poopy diapers or the rapid tempers of a soon to be 3 year old. I promise to try and post a little more often to keep you two in the loop of things going on. I will be a little more creative. And I will try to post so more pics too. As long as you keep following me, I will work my darnedest to keep you entertained, at least for the short few minutes you take out of your busy days to read what I have to say. VOTE COURTNEY 20012!! What am I running for president now? LOL!

Oh what fun this is! I love looking in on other peoples lives and seeing how they handle the stress of everyday living! Okay, I just re-read everything and realize that I need to get out of the house more often! LOL!! Well your in luck cause in this glamorous job of mine called motherhood, I have lots of errands to run today! Later!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Meaningful conversations

Eddie has been talking up a storm lately. And about nothing in particular. His favorite all time question is "What are you doing?". He asks me this every um 15 minutes I would say. "Momma what you doing?". I had this irrational fear when he was younger that he had a speaking problem or something cause he fully understood words, he just wouldn't say them. I seriously stayed awake many nights afraid that I was never going to hear him utter a single word. Now he talks...ALL THE TIME!!! He is constantly rambling about something. If he's not talking to me then he is talking to Luke. If Luke doesn't want to listen, then he talks to our dog Molly. When she has had enough and jumps the gate into the kitchen, then he talks to his toys. That boy is a talking fool and as long as he is awake, that mouth is going. Its sometimes annoying. He no longer takes naps, I just can't get him to sleep. So I make him sit down and relax for a little bit, secretly hoping that he will just fall over in exhaustion and sleep for a little bit. But even sitting down and watching a show he is still talking. He repeats whatever the character just said. He answers Dora when she asks him to help. He talks to me about the birds and squirrels outside. He asks where Dadda is. He just goes on and on and on.

But then..."Night night Momma. I love you."

Now that's the sweetest sound I have ever heard.