Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I wanna be a "blogger"!

Okay total honesty here.

I thought I would start this blog as a way of having a sort of online journal.

But damnit, now I just wanna be famous!

Okay not famous ala Perez Hilton and end up getting bitch slapped by the Black Eyed Peas, or their bodyguard, whomever you want to believe.

But I want followers! I want people to feverishly log on everyday to see if I have had anything to say. So in an effort to get some more people, I will list a few things you may not know, or want to know for that matter, about me.

1. I love to write, but I never have anything to write about. I get great ideas at the weirdest of times, and for this I have considered carrying around a recorder.

2. I have a Blackberry curve and no matter how COOL it makes me feel, I have no idea how to use it! I have had the dang thing for a year and am still learning things about it.

3. I think deep down somewhere there is a man living inside of me. I am such a typical girl in the sense that I have a sick love affair with bags and shoes. But I could surprise you...

4. I am one of the crazy dog ladies who has created a voice for her dog to carry on a conversation with me. Hey she loves me unconditional, I just know it. What a crazy woman...Shut up Molly!

5. I love my boys more than life itself. Okay this you may know, but in case you didn't...

6. I happen to think if I were a guy, I would totally be all over a girl like me. I'm cute, I'm not too girly, I can hang with the guys, and I totally rock in the kitchen. I am not mentioning any other specialties of mine! hahaha...

Okay that's all I can think of for now. Please feel free to ask me anything else. I am an open book. And please for my sanity's sake...FOLLOW ME!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

I'm becoming me

27 years of my life have flown by. I am already starting to forget bits and pieces of high school memories. I have grown and changed so much but yet I have stayed the same and still fall in love with boys I see in the movies (I am talking about YOU Edward Cullens...).

I love the woman I have become. I love that I have been able to start calling myself a woman and believing it and not feeling silly. I feel empowered by a new sense of independence I have found. I am finally feeling myself.

I love that I feel secure enough in myself that I no longer feel intimidated in the presence of a beautiful, skinny, tall woman. I like that although I still am not happy with my body, I am no longer mad at myself for the way I look.

I love the color of my green eyes and my naturally long lash. I like my smile as thin as my lips may be because when I smile, my cheekbones are highlighted.

I finally love me. I have finally found the girl, woman, mother, that I want to be. I am finally becoming ME.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Life is a highway

And I would like to take theh closest exit please! Okay to say the least (the very least) things have been crazy around here lately.

I have been putting in some crazy hours at "work" (titled aptly so because I work my butt off and because its for my externship hours, I do NOT get paid). Thank goodness for the time change because for a little bit I was going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark. Don't get me wrong, its great to feel like I am contributing to society again, but after being on my feet for 9 1/2 hours I don't wanna talk to anybody I just want to go home to the comfort of my bed.

My boys are back to not liking me again. Most nights, we get to see each other for maybe an hour before its bed time and some mornings, they don't even get up before I have to leave. It always seems that when I get a moment to call them, they are asleep so we don't even get a chance to talk. And of course if Daddy is around, I just don't exist. And if I want (or need) to get out by myself on the weekend, there is time lost with them.

SO now the guilt sets in. Life was already feeling so damn crazy before, but now its even harder to do. I want so hard to be every ones super hero, but something or someone always falls through the cracks.

So I just try my best. If I must stay on this crazy road all I can do is make sure that I bring those that I love along with me, make sure to have some great music to listen to, and enjoy the scenery as I pass it by. OH and at least try to have a smoking hot car to travel in!