Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Can't we all just get along

Like I have said before, I have a lot of free time on my hands lately. Naturally my mind just begins to wonder off into all the hypothetical situations one can get yourself into. Cause lets face it, reality just isn't that fun to live in most of the time.

I began thinking about how different boys and girls are. And I'm not just talking about anatomy. But its commonly known that us women think with our hearts and men they think with, well lets just be honest, the think with their brains. Both of them.

But just like our precious little hearts tend to make us overthink and overanalyze things, guys are pretty guilty of doing the same with their brains. There's just less emotion involved. So are we really that much different? And if we aren't, why is it so hard to communicate with eachother and have civilized relationships? As hard as it is, should us gals start thinking like guys and leave the emotion outta it? Do guys really live an easier life because they don't get as involved? What is up with all these emotions and whats the purpose of them if one party would rather deal without them, while the other party can't function throughout a normal day without feeling something? Are we just forever screwed to live on seperate planets?

Just a few random thoughts today. The eternal question. Are men really from mars while we live life on venus?

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Say what you need to say

I have been drowning myself in music lately. Not any certain kind, just depends on my mood. Somedays its Britney Spears. Yes I admit it, I listen to her. I have for years. Somedays is Michael Buble. Beatles, Jay-z, Taylor Swift, whatever the mood strikes.

So today I have my itunes list on shuffle and a particular song comes on that strikes me. You know how usually you just have the music on to filter out the noise but you never really listen to it? Well that was what I was trying to achieve but for some reason I stopped and actually listened to the words. Say by John Mayer. Okay yeah so the boy has himself in some hot water as of the moment. But this song is so true. Here are a few of the lyrics:

Have no fear for givin' in
Have no fear for givin' over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Then to never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shakin'
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closin'
Do it with a heart wide open
A wide heart

Its so true. So often we go through life afraid to say the things we really want to say. We get scared that we may hurt feelings, or what the other person may say back. Sometimes what we need to say is hurtful, but its our truth and we need to share it. Sometimes our truths scare even ourselves so theres no telling what the other person may feel once those words are out there.

I have learned many things in my young life. But very recently I have learned to be very open and honest with everyone in my life. Not to say that it has caused some heartache but it has brought me freedom. My friends and family know that they can expect nothing but the truth from me.  But more importantly, with being honest I am less afraid to share my true feelings as well. I am no longer afraid to tell someone that they have hurt me, or just how much I feel for them.

So in the wise words of John Mayer...I can't believe I just typed that...Say what you need to say.

Monday, March 29, 2010


Ok I have to admit. Cupcakes aren't my only addiction. I also am addicted to handbags, discount shopping, and this...
Yes people, they call it a crackberry for a reason. I am addicted to my blackberry. We have had a close relationship for the past year and a half and I am currently faced with the dilemia of possibly having to get a new phone. I am deeply upset. Nobody knows me like my Berry. I know such an original name huh?

But to get where I was going with this post. I think in this day and age of techology, that I am able to be more in touch with people than ever. I can recieve an email at the drop of a hat. And I can have a conversation with someone via text through out the day without missing a beat of what the kids are doing. How else could I "talk" to someone all day long who is suppose to be working? Who needs to actually pick up the phone and talk anymore?

Me personally, I have a phone phobia. Really I'm not joking. I really am a people person, I enjoy talking and listening to people. But there is something about the phone that throws me off. I have a higher pitched voice that only seems exaggerated on the telephone. So I start to think that I am annoying the person on the other end with the sound of my voice. And then I start to think that the person won't like me anymore. I can get all sweaty and clamy. Its not pretty.

But with all this technology, is it really causing us to be more out of touch with eachother? Communication between two human beings is hard enough without having to decipher what someone means in a text message or an email. Things and taken the wrong way or misunderstood. Are we really out of touch with trying to stay in touch?

Friday, March 26, 2010

Random Friday Cuteness

Nothing new to say today. You're shocked I know! Now pick yourself up off the floor cause I have some cuteness to share with you...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Meet my new boyfriend

I know that many of you will think...How insensitive can she be? Its too soon. How can she already be into a relationship. Blah blah blah.

But I have a new boyfriend. We are madly in love. I can't help it anymore. He gets me, he has a great sense of humor, we just click.

Wanna see a pic of him? Ok here he is, brace yourself..
Michael Buble and I are madly in love. The love songs he sings are all for me. I love him I love him I love him.

No seriously I have been listening to his new CD Crazy Love. So yes, my newest crush is on him. Robert and I, you know he just hasn't been around for me. LOL.

And yes I know I need help. And knowing you need help is half the battle!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Thanks for the advice morons

Okay I have had a lot of free time on my hands lately. Thanks to a friend of mine, I have found site called Shine through here if you would like to see it. Its all about health + beauty, fashion, and my favorite, love + sex.

But I got to thinking today. A lot of their articles, although perhaps are mostly read by women, are about all the things that us single gals should avoid so as to not irrate or turn off the opposite sex. Now I am a realist. I understand that us as women tend to overthink, overanalize, and just pretty much overdo everything.

But I have read articles that just seem down right rediculious to me. One article titled Is your apartment guy friendly?where although I can appreciate such advice as to put away pictures of you exes and hide the self help books, I can't fully understand why it would suggested to us to hide femine hygeine products such as tampons and pantyliners? I mean most of us have them already put away right like in the cabinet or under the sink. Am I suppose to bury them under the house so he won't see them at all?

And thanks to this article so aptly titled 10 ways to seduce your man I have learned that to turn a guy on, I must alwas wear super sexy underwear and let him have the remote.

It just seems that there are all these articles and books out there for woman on how to get men, and they all seem geared towards us having to change all the "negative" things about ourselves. But we are suppose to be so understanding of men and just accept everything about them? Where are the articles out there for the guys about how they should be a little more attentive or step out of their comfort zones for a gal?

What happened to giving a little, getting a little. Is this whole concept lost? Are we suppose to change ourselves completley in order to hook a man? And why can't they change a few things? None of us are perfect. In this day and age of accepting people as they are, why is there so much "advice" out there?

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Courtney, party of one

I never thought it would be this lonely.

I thought that I would be 100% okay because I had friends and family around that love me.

But there are some nights when everyone else has plans. And then there you are. Watching Sex and the City dvds all on your own with not even a soul to text.

Its hard to do. Nobody was there to laugh with me at the funny moments. No one was there to laugh at me when I was crying at the sad moments.

Just me. Alone. Alone. Alone.

I know I have to get used to it. I know that it was the first night of many to come. Its the big pill that you have to swallow. It hurts going down, but must be done to make everything better.

I will be better. I am getting used to being alone. It just SUCKS. Really it sucks. I am never really alone, the boys are always with me. But when they hit the hay at 8pm then I am alone again. Yes I rhymed, I find sometimes it helps.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

What no one knows

A few months ago a question was raised to me that I had no idea how to awnser. For some very odd reason, it left me speechless.

What is some little things that NO ONE really knows about you?

Really, there isn't much to me, and there really isn't much about me that people DON'T know.

But now that I have given it some thought, I have found a few things. They are awfully silly and you may see exactly why I haven't shared them with anyone.

1. I can't stand it when I pump gas and it doesn't stop at an even number. But its even worse. It has to be like $xx.25, $xx.50, $xx.75 or $xx.00. I will seriously think about it all day if I don't leave the pump on one of those numbers. I will pump gas until I get it there, whatever it takes.

2. I never leave the house without black mascara. Weither I have it on, or in my purse to apply it once I get where I am going. I can't stand it, and the only few times I have left the house without mascara was because I was having surgery, or recovering from pink eye.

3. I can't be in the car without music on. Most people (and experts) claim that its a distraction. But I am much more distracted without music. Its too quiet and then my mind starts thinking about REALLY stupid stuff, next thing you know...So music is a must for me in the car.

4. I LOVE to pick blackheads. Even if they aren't on me. If I see one on myself, I will literally excuse myself from a crowd to go off into a bathroom and pick it. Hey I have manners! If I see one on someone else, that will be all I can concentrate on. Forget the fact that this person is telling me something rather important, I am more focused on how I can squeeze that sucker outta there without said person noticing.

5. I may come off as a girly-girl, but I love to get down and dirty. I love to be outdoors. Four wheelin in the mud, I'm there. Fishing, hey I got a (pink) pole. Hiking, camping, you name it I'll do it. But I won't hunt. My heart is TOO big for all animals to bring myself to shoot them.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

So this is plus sized now?

Here is an untouched photo of three supermodels for an upcoming issue of Glamour. From left to right we have Victoria's Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio, plus-size model Crystal Renn, and Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover girl Brooklyn Decker.

Yeah thats right, the girl in the middle is considered PLUS-SIZE because in the modeling industry she is a size 12 and that is deemed plus-sized.

Well damn...instead of trying to find a job as a Medical Assistant, I should try my hand at plus-size modeling!

For real, the only problem I can see with her in that suit is the ill fitting bottom. If she had on the bottom that Brooklyn Decker is sporting, she would look like me in a two piece. And I were a size 6-8.

That just grosses me out to think she is considered plus-size. We are all gonna look like fat cows next to Alessandra. I have seen paper thicker than her.

So is there no hope out there for us real girls? You know the ones that have beared children and have the scars, stretch marks, and extra skin to prove it?

Monday, March 8, 2010

Me, Myself, and I

And I don't like any of them! hahaha just kidding.

So you have great friends. You have those girls on speed dial that would never cuss you out if you called them at 2 in the morning because you need someone to talk to.

Sometimes they are across town, sometimes they are across the United States. And even in the suckiest situations, they are even sometimes across a freaking ocean.

But they are always there.

Yet sometimes you still feel lonely.

And you would think that the lonliness is a good thing, that your mind could use the peace and quiet. But when your lonely, your mind goes to some dark places.

Usually your a confident girl. If you don't like what you see, then move on. But that little voice creeps up when your alone in your thoughts. And it just crumbles down everything that you have built up. Your once bright future that you had planned in your head is suddenly dark and depressing. Next thing you know you're crying because you fear that in your lonely future, your going to choke on your shower water and nobody will find your dead body for days (yes true story. Well not actually dying but having that irrational fear.).

Time to tune out that little voice. Turn the music up and watch some bad reality tv.

Even with the sunshine, today was a dark day for me. I will snap out of it, I promise.

Thursday, March 4, 2010


No I'm not talking about all the fabulous ones that will be walking the red carpet this Sunday for the Oscars.

Tonight on my way to the gym, I was pondering all the great mysteries of life. Well not really. I was still riding on a high that I had simply because the sun shined all day long. Seriously, we have not seen the sun here in Ohio for months.

I looked up into the sky thanking God for everything I had and asking him for another beautiful day like we had today. Thats when I noticed something.
You know, when the clouds cover the sun all day long, they tend to hang around and cover up the stars too. So I noticed tonight the stars. I am not an astrologist by any means, I have no idea about constilation or which ones are actually plantes or whatever. But I do now that they are absolutley beautiful.

We are always so thankful for the sun (well most of us). But we never seem to thank the Lord for the stars. They are so stunning and we can actually look at them without burning out our retinas.

So my high continued through out my work out. And now I am going to sleep tonight in a good mood. How often does that happen? hahaha.

Thank you lord for the moon and the stars. Thank you for everything that I have and for all things you continue to bless me with.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Oh Rob!

So I stumbled upon something fascintating this past weekend. An old issue of Vanity Fair with non other than Robert Pattinson featured in it. So I spent the whole weekend with Rob.
We spent the weekend on this cute little place in Long Island. We had a nice crab lunch and some beers.
We spend a quiet afternoon reading together. It was so cute, Rob would find something he thought was funny in his reading and he would read it to me.

We both love music so he serenated me with some pieces that he has written himself. It was very beautiful, moved me to tears.

Then we ended the evening just laying in bed and sharing our feelings. It was an amazing weekend.

I am now off to check into the mental hospital for having an imaginary romantic weekend getaway with Robert Pattinson via magazing pics of him!