Sunday, March 21, 2010

Courtney, party of one

I never thought it would be this lonely.

I thought that I would be 100% okay because I had friends and family around that love me.

But there are some nights when everyone else has plans. And then there you are. Watching Sex and the City dvds all on your own with not even a soul to text.

Its hard to do. Nobody was there to laugh with me at the funny moments. No one was there to laugh at me when I was crying at the sad moments.

Just me. Alone. Alone. Alone.

I know I have to get used to it. I know that it was the first night of many to come. Its the big pill that you have to swallow. It hurts going down, but must be done to make everything better.

I will be better. I am getting used to being alone. It just SUCKS. Really it sucks. I am never really alone, the boys are always with me. But when they hit the hay at 8pm then I am alone again. Yes I rhymed, I find sometimes it helps.


Starla said...

I love you and know its hard right now but you will always have me, even if I am a few thousand miles away. Be strong!

Just Diane said...

It is a major life change. It is hard to get used to. You will though, you will. I have been there too. Bigs hugs.