Memorial day

Its one of the best 3 day weekends EVER. The unofficial start of summer. The grills get fired up, decorative table clothes are brought out, and no doubt there are a number of adult beverages served. Its a time when most of us realize that summer is about to start. From here until fall our time will be spent with baseball games, water activities, and late nights watching the lighting bugs and enjoying the warm nights.

But just remember to take a few moments this weekend to remember what the holiday was created for in the first place. To memorialize those that are no longer with us. Most importantly, those that have served for our nation to give us the freedoms we enjoy today.

And please remember above all, to be safe! And to be responsible. I can't help it, the mom in me always comes out. I hope y'all enjoy your weekend. I sure know that I am going to!!!

Poker Face

I am usually pretty good with lyrics. I can usually understand what an artist is saying and can identify with them from one point in my life or another. Except with Lady Gaga. I don't understand  her half the time. Love the music, love the beat, but just don't get the words. That is until Tuesday night...

Yes I am a Gleek. I love the show Glee. Music, high school drama, its great. So Tuesday's theme was theatrics where they put Lady Gaga's song and fashion sense (or lack thereof) into play. But there was one song that I just loved. It was Poker Face, but done in a different way. Sung by Lea Michele and one of my favorite broadway stars Idina Menzel. You can go here to hear their version. I love it. So today I thought I would post the lyrics. Now that I can understand them.

I wanna hold em like the do in Texas place
Fold em, let em hit me, raise it, baby stay with me
Love the game, intuition, play the cards with spades to start
and after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart

Oh uh-oh oh, oh uh-oh oh
I'll get him hard and show him what I've got
Oh uh-oh, oh, oh uh-oh oh
I'll get him hard and show him what I've got

Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my
Poker Face, she's got to love nobody
Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my
Poker Face, she's got to love nobody

Poker face
Poker face
Poker face
Poker face

I wanna roll with him, a hard pair we will be
A little gambling is fun when your with me
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun
And baby when its love if aint rough it isn't fun

Oh uh-oh oh, oh uh-oh oh
I'll get him hard and show him what I got
Oh uh-oh oh, oh uh-oh oh
I'll get him hard and show him what I got

Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my
Poker face, she's got to love nobody
Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my
Poker face, she's got to love nobody

I won't tell you that I love, kiss or hug you cause I'm bluffing
with my muffin
I'm not lying, I'm just stunning with my love blue gunnin

Just like a chick in a casino, take your bank
before I pay you out
I promise this, I promise this, check this hand
cause I am marvelous

I'm marvelous
I'm marvelous
I'm marvelous
So marvelous
She's got to love nobody

Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my
Poker face, she's got to love nobody

Fellas!

I love it when boys fight over me. "She's mine!". "NO She's MINE!". Boys there is plenty of me to go around!!! I'm starting to feel like the newest Bacherlorette!

Of course I am talking about MY boys, you know those two little guys I kinda gave life to.

Every morning we wake up (lately it has been to sunshine-thank you lord for another beautiful day!) and the boys get their cups of milk and ask for either a pop tart, a bowl of cereal, or a bowl of oatmeal. Hey what can I say they are simple just like me. In between bites of soggy cereal or sticky pop tart I can always rely on hugs, kisses and cuddles from my guys. But lately it has gotten really ugly.

If one is in my lap, or cuddled up beside me, the other one looses their mind! I have to admit, its kinda really cute. I mean who doesn't like others vying for your attention? I remember my mom used to get so annoyed when my sister and I fought over who got to sit next to her. But I kinda like to her my boys fight over me. Because I know that in their fragile little minds, they just want to be loved. And I get to save the day when I am able to show them that I can love them both at the same time. Its an awesome feeling to be a mom and know that your kids just want you to love them, and they are satisfied with just that. Perhaps its something to learn from them.

In the wise words of The Beatles-maybe all you do need is love.

Oh Poop!

We had a very interesting trip to the zoo this weekend. The boys love to go see the "aminals" as they call them. Its super cute actually cause they really get into it. They ask to see certain animals and they are the kids that can sit there and watch one animal for awhile. But there was one topic of concern for both of them this past weekend.

"Where do the aminals poop?"

Eddie was really concerned with this. Every animal we saw, same question. He was really concerned when he found out that because they were wild animals that they didn't have a need for a bathroom or a backyard like our dogs. But it really hit home once we saw the elephants.

Thanks to a strict diet of grass, hay, and who knows what else kind of fiber, the elephants showed my naive 3 year old just what I was trying to explain to him. And what was his first reaction? "Zookeeper you need to clean the poop up!".

After the onset of embarrassment was over, I felt a little pride in the way Eddie handled himself. For one, he knew that he was simply not big enough to handle that um...load on his own and called for help. And he realized that sometimes there is going be poop in your life and the best way to deal is to just clean it up and move on. He is such a smart little guy, and I am so proud of him. Even if his biggest concern right now is poop.

Greener pastures

So a little discussion over the weekend has gotten me thinking today. Is the grass always greener on the other side? Or are we simply responsible for watering our own?

In a single gals life, you have to sift through a lot of the forest to find that one tree (pardon all the puns, I'm on a nature kick for some reason). Its very time consuming, and at some times discouraging. It can, at some points, get a girl down.

But it was pointed out to me that I seem to be enjoying the whole process. It may be beginners luck being that I have only been at this dating thing for about a month. It could be that I just like meeting new people. Or it simply could be that I happen to think my lawn is very well manicured and inviting so I am just finding someone to appreciate it (and please get your mind out of the gutters people, I am just going along with the greener grass analogy.).

Yes other people's lawn are greener than mine. Some even have very pretty flowers and some snazzy lawn decorations. But I have put a lot of care into my yard. And a lot of the work I have done on my own. I have watered the grass when it was almost dead and brought it back to life. I've had to mow it on my own when the grass has gotten too high. I've had to pick up broken branches and all kinds of debris when the winds have been too strong. I've even planted some flowers to make it smell and look pretty. I happen to like the way my lawn looks now. So those who can't appreciate what I have done with it, they can keep walking on to the next yard. No matter what, my grass will always be a nice shade of green because I am content with doing the work on my own. I happen to think its a great place to be, and I will always find contentment in my own garden.

Some goofiness

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am goofy. Well I think its a trait that has carried on to my boys. All I have to do is turn on my web cam and snap away, and they are entertained for awhile. So thanking the heavens that its Friday, I thought I would share some goofy web cam pics of us. Please try to contain your laughter until the end of this blog post.

I love these guys so much.

I'm the girl you want

LOL. OK the thought came across me yesterday just how similar interview for a job and going on a first date are. Since I am going through both at the same time...

So I will be sitting there, talking about all my strengths and how I work on my weaknesses. Then I have to stop myself. Wait...am I on a job interview or a date? lol

Its so funny how we have to sell ourselves these days. We have to try our hardest to prove to another party just how great we are. Whether we are looking for employment or looking for love. I would not be surprised if a date would ask for a resume.

So in an effort to impress a potential boss or boyfriend I have compiled yet another list of my strengths and why I would be the girl for you.

*I am very much a people person. Although I can work on my own, I prefer to be in the company of others to make my work day a little more bearable.

*One of my weaknesses is I am terrible at remembering dates and times. But I do have a system in place of writing down times and dates on a calendar that I keep at my desk and then following through with putting it in my blackberry with a set reminder.

*I am really laid back, so I don't get frazzled in moments of chaos. I simply set goals in order of importance and follow through.

*I rule with a velvet gloved iron fist. I believe that you can manage a team of people successfully while maintaining a positive attitude.

*I love to hang out with friends, family, catch a sporting event, drink a beer. (ya this one is aimed more to a potential mate than employer)

Okay my minds gone. That's all I got today.

I am an AWESOME girl

I know I have said this before. Really its more an affirmation to myself than bragging. But I am an awesome girl. Woman. Lady. Whatever you wanna call me as long as its nice.

I watch Sportscenter voluntarily. I LOVE college football (Hook 'em Horns!). I drink beer, out of a bottle. I actually like to eat food, and I'm talking about the stuff that's not really good for you like chicken wings, fries, deep fried twinkies. I love to do things outdoors like 4 wheelin, camping, building a fire. I have the humor of a 12 year old boy, so I'm not easily offended. I'm secure with myself so other woman don't make me jealous. I'm intelligent, funny, I ask the silliest questions (questions like do you step out of the stream of water in the shower to lather up? Not the dumb "what are you thinking about" questions.). I like being girlie with doing my hair and putting on make-up but I like to play in the mud too. I don't play games, if I am thinking something I just say it. I'm not your typical girl.

But lets not confuse my openness with being easy. Yes I may be laid back and perfectly content with doing something more on the lines of catching a sporting event for a date. But I am still a woman, and I still require the NORMAL things that most girls require before I allow you a backstage pass to my dressing room (thanks Anna!). Woo me. Please. And just that normal sweet talk with telling me that I'm pretty and funny isn't enough. Call me high maintenance, or you can even tell me I'm full of myself. But what I have to give is pretty freaking awesome (I come with great credentials if you don't believe me! lol), so your gonna have to be even more freaking awesome to get a preview of it.

To quote Forrest Gump, that's all I have to say about that. OK. Mindless rant over.

If only

If only...

~I could enjoy life the way my boys do. Seriously as long as a cartoon is on or there are toys to play with, they are set.

~I had made up my mind of what I wanted to be when I grew up before I actually grew up. I would be working in my chosen profession already instead of working towards it.

~I had not gotten lazy during my 2nd pregnancy, I would have a rockin body right now.

~I wasn't so stubborn. Although it helps in some situations, it kills me in others.

~I would have kept my mouth shut.

~I went to bed earlier at night, I wouldn't be so tired during the day.

~My blackberry could cuddle me, then I would have the perfect relationship! lol

~This love stuff wasn't so hard. We would all suffer less heartache.

There are many things to regret in life. But sometimes you have to remember that the mistakes you have made in the past, have made you who you are today. As long as you learn from the mistakes and move forward, you are always growing. I am actually thankful for all the things I have been through then and even now. Because it has made me the person that I am today. I think that's a pretty wonderful woman.

My happiness

Many things make me happy. Sunshine, coffee, finding a $20 dollar bill. But there is one specific thing that I can always count on. Well actually its two things, but they are kinda rolled up into the price of one.

These two guys are the source of everything that I am. I never thought it possible to love someone so much. I have loved several people throughout my life. Great loves. But I have never loved someone as much as I love these two. They make me happy on a sad day, drive me crazy, make me laugh. Nothing compares to hearing them tell me "You're the best mommy in the whole world!". It makes me feel like the luckiest person.

Life gets tough. Sometimes you are stuck in less than desirable situations and it can get you down. When I get there, my guys pull me out. As long as I have my boys, I can get through anything. They are all I need. Everything else that I have in my life, is just gravy!

Mental Lists

You know, sometimes I really hate that I have a brain and that I use it. So I am sitting here, still feeling miserable and all I can think about is taking a hot bath to make myself feel a little better. But then my mind starts to automatically make a mental list of all the things I must do before I allow myself a bath.

• Clean bathroom
• Sweep and mop kitchen floor
• Vacuum
• Clean marker off living room wall, kids room wall, hallway wall, and tile in the bathroom
• Dust
• Fold and put away laundry
• Unload dishwasher

See it never ends. But today I just can't get going. Usually I can find the energy from somewhere to at least check off a couple things, but today its not working. I want to curl up in bed and doze in and out of sleep whenever I feel like it. But no such luck. So perhaps I will go clean my bathroom and feel good that I at least got ONE thing checked off the list. At least I'll have a clean tub to soak in whenever I get the chance for a bath.

And a side note, I really need to get over this crap. Its draining every creative ounce outta me and these posts have sucked as of lately. BOO! I hate being sick!

Slacker

OK. So I was off for the day and forgot to get a blog posted earlier. But give me a break, I am coming down with something.

I think its a cold. Or allergies. Or a cold. I don't know. All I know is that my head is plugged up that its hard to hear, my throat is raw and I dread swallowing my own spit, and I am sneezing so much that I don't need to work on my abs cause the blow from a sneeze is enough that I am pretty sure I will have six pack by the time this sickness leaves.

I feel miserable. So tonight, it will be dinner, bath, and I am going to be the worst momma in the world and let the boys lay down and watch a movie until the fall asleep. Because I am one exhausted momma. I am tired, I don't feel good. I'm giving in. And yes, I will be in bed and hopefully asleep by 9pm. What a fun evening!

Info overload!

I stole this from a blogger momma that I follow, Mom to Bee, simply because I love to talk about the most fabulous girl in the world...ME!! Just kidding.

I am…feeling very good with where my life is going right now.

I think…about the strangest things sometimes. Even I stop and say "where the hell did that come from?".

I should…learn to slow down sometimes.

I dream…the weirdest things. My dreams are never consistent.

I want…to just be happy, while bringing happiness to everyone else around me.

I know…that I am an amazing woman.

I don’t like…mean, dishonest, rude, miserable people.

I smell…like nothing, I never remember to wear perfume.

I hear…screaming and whining WAY too much. And not just from my kids.

I fear…choking on my shower water, literally dying alone and being dead for days before someone finds me, and my boys turning into teenagers.

I usually…waste my time daydreaming.

In search…for a job. A full time job that's gonna help momma cover the bills.

I miss…my sister, and my friend Selena, and my friend Starla and my cousin Floyd.I miss too many people.

I always…say a curse word in every conversation. Shit. See there I go.

I regret…not going to school sooner.

I wonder...if my boys will love me as much later on in life as they do right now.

I crave…honestly? I don't think I could even write it...lets just say it rhymes with um rex. lol

I remember…life after I had my kids. I struggle with remembering what happened before.

I need...to get an f-ing job.

I forget...to eat sometimes. Good thing your body does the whole little fainting thing...

I feel…like my life is starting to go the direction I want it to.

I can…put my whole fist in my mouth, and still be able to talk. hahaha

I can’t…handle bullshit anymore. From anyone. Yeah grocery bagger boy, I SAID I didn't want my milk in a bag. lol

I am happy…with the people I choose to surround myself with. They may be a small group, but they are FABULOUS!

I lose…my sanity on a daily basis. Really I do.

I sing…all the time. Nothing in particular just what comes to mind.

I listen…to two kids all the time. I appreciate adult time.

I shop…very wisely. Never do I pay full price unless absolutely necessary.

I eat...too many cupcakes. Really I am thinking I need to see someone about my dependency.

I love…my boys, more than anything. They are my life.

Butterflies and flowers

My mothers day was great. It all started at 8am, which meant that I slept in, with Eddie waking me up to tell me they had made me breakfast. How does a 4 year old make breakfast you ask yourself? With the help of his father. Thankful there was some scrambled eggs and bacon instead of a cold pop tart that most likely was licked before it was given to me. Eddie came in my room and said in a quite whisper to wake me nicely "Momma, we have breakfast ready for you." So I said OK. He came back in 2 seconds later and said "Momma, we have presents for you too. We have blue flowers and some cards.". Cute.

After breakfast, we went to the Krohns Conservatory to see the butterfly exhibit they have. It was really cool, I have never been.

I had one of the best Mothers Day yesterday. Just me and the boys and my mom. It was really fun to see the boys get so excited every time a butterfly flew by. It was a good day.

Happy Moms Day!

In case any of you have forgotten, Sunday is Mothers Day. But instead of using this post to talk about how much of a kick ass mom I am, I want to use this post to talk about how kick ass MY mom is. But in an attempt to not becoming a blubbering mess, I will keep this short.

My mom is an amazing woman. We have been through a lot these past 27 years. I will say that I was a kind kid though and kept the laboring hours down to 4 so I never tortured her like that. HAHA she can never use that against me! She is such a strong lady and I have learned a lot from her. She's been a teacher, counselor, friend.

A lot of people that have met my mother and met me tell me that I am just like her. Most woman will roll their eyes or make some joke. But I simply say thank you. Because I think that if I am like my mom, than I must be doing ok.

So let me just simply say that I love you Mom. Being a mom, I now know just how much you have given and sacrificed over time for me and you still do to this day. Thank you for everything you have done for me, and more than anything thank you for being a friend to me now.  I LOVE YOU!

Old School

So I have been really thinking lately about going back to school. Yes at almost 28 years of age, I am thinking of becoming a college student. Again. 3rd times the charm. I have finally decided that I want to be a nurse. A surgical nurse. So not only do I have to get my BSN, I also have to specialize in surgery. So not just some school, LOTS of it.

You know when I was growing up (and still to this day!) people have always told me that someday I will be happy with the fact that I look younger than what I am. Well that someday is now. I am SO thankful for my youthful look because now I won't feel like an old maid while sitting in class with a bunch of youngins.

So now the process begins of looking at schools. There are so many out there that offer nursing programs that the choice is pretty much up to me. I am nervous, scared, excited...a bunch of emotions all rolled into one. Its gonna be hard, but I am sure well worth it for me and my boys in the end.

Look at em Hooters!

And no this is not a post about owls. The job hunt is going nowhere for me, I have even started looking outside of the medical field for a full time job. So this thought actually, seriously crossed my mind yesterday.

Yes I actually thought about running out to Hooters to pick up an application. How hard could it be huh? I have waiting experience. Get me a good push up bra and I am set. Flirt with a few guys and sit back and count my tips at the end of the day. Hey I could even get lucky enough and get picked as one of the girls that does like calendar work and promotions and stuff.

Seriously people this is how badly I need a job right now.

I'm already employed

Still job searching. I must put in about 15 resumes a day. I am even looking at non traditional ways of making some money like online survey taking and perhaps trying my hand at some crafts (yeah lets see how well THAT pans out for me!). Its becoming a full time NON paying job in itself to try and find a full time decent paying job. But I already have a full time job. I'm a stay at home mom as of right now. Here is a list of occupations I am well trained for thanks to my almost 4 years of experience.

*Chef
*Maid
*Stylist
*Nurse
*Dry Cleaner
*Personal Assistant
*Taxi Driver
*Counselor
*Teacher
*Entertainer
*Events Coordinator/Even Planner

I'm sure the list could go even longer if I wanted to spend A LOT of time thinking about it.

Being "Mommy" has been the best job I have ever had. Its tough, its challenging. I often end the day wanting to pull my hair out and too exhausted to even sleep. But when you get one of these moments, its well worth it!

I have no idea why there were hugging in the bathroom. We were getting ready for bath, and I was getting something. I walked in to hear Lucas tell Eddie that he was sorry and they hugged. It was very sweet.

These two guys are my everything. When I have those days that I don't want to get up, when I want to throw in the towel, or when I just want to sit down and I cry...these guys get me through. So I guess I am saying, I love my job.

Starved

Guys have it so easy these days. Really if we think about it they do. Before I start off this post today, please know that this is all just a generalized statement, or thought, or whatever you wanna call it. Okay here we go...

I started thinking the other day about how complex relationships between men and women have become. I am sure that we have all at one point in time heard a man complain that a girl he was dating or seeing (yeah that's another topic for me-whats with all the labels??) wanted something more serious or wanted something more. And I got to thinking, can you blame us?

I don't know from experience being that I at this moment am barely dipping my toes into the dating pool, but from what I hear there are a lot of jerks out there. So can you blame a girl when she finds a nice guy who treats her good, that she wants to lock it down and have it all to herself forever?  We are literally so starved for romance these days that a guy who takes us to a nice dinner and shares a good conversation with us has us thinking about white dresses and happily ever after. Okay maybe its not THAT drastic, but you get my drift.

Guys have it so easy these days when it comes to dating. Really they do. There are so many good girls out there that just want to be appreciated and respected. Or perhaps its just me. But I do know that finding a respectable guy who treats you like a lady is really hard to find these days. So I guess to all my ladies out there, pucker up. Sounds like no matter what, we will still have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find our princes (and let me just say YUCK! Now you see why I haven't jumped into dating quite yet? lol).